sight isn’t always necessary

So, Craig works Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. And it is in these long stretches, especially the ones that span the weekend, that I realize how much of a loser I truly am.

Where are all of my “friends”? And if I really had some, would they want to hang out at my boring house doing quiet things while my silly child slept? Maybe (probably) some of them would. I probably could call those people and beg them to come over… but that is not my point.

My point, in case you lost it already, is that I’m an old lady mother with nothing to do and nobody to call and it’s really depressing the crap out of me. I met with an old friend today – and I really should have been able to do that alone – but instead I had Connor with me which actually was an impediment to the whole “catching up” thing. I mean, I love my child with all of my heart and soul and blood and whatever other bodily (or outer-bodily) part you could name… but seriously! I’m only 27! What IS this life I have now acquired? Why is it that I am so alone in this realm? Are there other people out there, preferrably ones that also feel the way I do sometimes (regret is a word I rarely use, but could it describe this feeling?), that also are bored and alone on this here wonderful Saturday night?

I won’t be alone for long, and I could lay off the wine to clear my mind and bring me back to reality where life is fun and joyous and fulfilling, but I think I’ll lay here in the mud for a while.