sight isn’t always necessary

Craig’s mom is going to make me go crazy. Or maybe I am already crazy, but his mother is just going to make it worse, and it seems like she WANTS to make it worse, because she thinks it’s funny or something! Because she likes having power over something? Because she’s evil? Because she’s just dumb? I don’t know. What I do know is this: last time, I didn’t realize the full extent of her wrath until Connor was born, and it was brutal. This time, she’s starting in early – I’m only 8 weeks pregnant! The worst thing is that she seems so innocent to my family, to Craig; but I know that she’s being manipulative and it’s really not acceptable to me. For instance – she called this weekend to see if I wanted her to come “get Connor” so that I could relax a little. Now, maybe it’s just because I have a bit of knowledge of how the body works and she’s a total retard, but I’m very early in pregnancy, so none of my normal functions are restricted yet. I can move, I can pick up my kid and go down the slide and play and jog and jump… I don’t need someone to take my kid to do those fun things because I can’t handle them yet! GRR! Then today she sent me an email asking me the same thing; do I need any help, do I need her to get me anything, do I want her to come take my child from me so that I can relax. I’m sorry – I’m not going to do that to Connor! The thing he needs MOST right now is for mommy to be paying a lot of attention to him and showing him that I love him LOTS, because when this baby comes all of our lives are going to be flipped upside down and I want Connor to remember and cherish the time we had before this. Not that having a sibling is going to be bad – but it’s going to take some getting used to. And I’m not going to have the icky munga come and take my kid, feed him lots of shitty food and candy and cake, and force him to be up doing ridiculous things all day because it’s fun for Munga to watch him. Connor is a plaything for her, his health and well-being is taken for granted by her. It’s so frustrating. She did that kind of thing to us when Connor was born too – she’d offer to come over and have us “go for a walk and get fresh air” or whatever her stupid suggestion was for the day – just so that she could have time alone with our brand new baby. Even though I HAD HOUSED HIM IN MY WOMB FOR 9 FUCKING MONTHS! He’s my kid! And I deserve time with him. I’m just the kind of person that when I need help, I ask for it – all of these offers of assistance are really unwanted, and even more unwanted because I know there’s an ulterior motive for them.

Oh yeah! And then she also said in that stupid fucking email today (sorry, I’m getting more agitated the longer I think about it) that I should “put my feet up and relax” because I “TEND TO DO SOME SERIOUS SWELLING“. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! Doesn’t she KNOW that the mere idea of swelling up to that point again was what PREVENTED ME FROM WANTING ANOTHER CHILD AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t want that to happen! I don’t want people to remember it! I wish she weren’t around at ALL the first time so that she wouldn’t be able to make ANY FUCKING COMMENTS ABOUT IT AGAIN! God! She’s so seriously stupid. To call to attention the weight gain of a prior pregnancy for a woman that is newly pregnant again – that’s just asking for trouble. I fear it’s going to spark some fun for the rest of this stupid 8 months that’s just going to make things really really friggin’ icky.

So I Googled “Crazy Ass Mother-In-Law”, and as it turns out, Ann isn’t the worst of them – she’s just teetering on the edge. Using my mom’s philosophy, I guess that fact could make things all cheery and happy for me – the fact that my mother in law is only on the “somewhat crazy” end of the crazy spectrum means my life could be a lot worse with a lot crazier woman.

It must be hard, but seriously – if Connor ever meets a woman that he’s in love with, I’m going to back off like MAD until he invites me or until I feel it’s safe to ask to be introduced. I just don’t CARE, as long as she’s a good person, what difference does it make! I hope to God she’s not like me – one of those cute and fake girls would be so much easier to deal with (for a man) and I don’t care if she even has a brain. Ugh. That’s of no importance though. It’s just annoying.