sight isn’t always necessary

** Names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the not-so-innocent. Very boring conversation, but it makes me laugh. And this is MY blog, so I’ll do what I want to do with it! NEENER! **

- Sassafras

The office door thing, though totally something I should let go about a thousand years ago, really perplexes me. So I sent a note to Lemming. He’ll get it when he gets back. Maybe he’ll shed some light.

- Succotash

you just asked him to explain why they do it? lol….

- Sassafras

i wrote:
What is with you office turds closing your doors when you’re gone? It made sense when Weiner One did it, because… whatever. It’s Weiner One. And maybe Weiner Two, because he has employee data files or whatever. But you? IntelligentWeiner? Evil Wench? Gumpy? Did you have a big conference and decide that this is the final separation between office and cube employees? You can lock up your… useless crap? We can’t?
You’re the only one I could ask, because the rest would be all “secretive” about their lemming rituals.

- Succotash

that’s kind of hilarious.
I’ll be curious to see what he says.
so you don’t think there could have been some sort of lame policy set by Weiner One, possibly to comply with insurance privacy rules or something? Not that they would have sensitive materials in their offices, but there could conceivably be a stupid rule um … for health insurance stuff … that offices have to be locked when not in use.

- Sassafras

yeah, maybe. lame, anyway. i have more SSNs and privacy data on my desk than IntelligentWeiner will ever have – he rarely works with client data. i think, more likely, it’s some lame thing they decided.
“makes it easier to distinguish who’s here” or whatever.

- Succotash

I agree that it’s lame…. whatever.
I still think you should try to set up your own door or barrier to your cube, and if queried, you could say that you might have sensitive information in your cube and you’re trying to protect it.

- Sassafras

that would be hilarious.
if that’s his answer for why they shut their doors, i’m totally going to do that.
someone needs to slap idiocy in the face, and i feel like it’s a fun job to have.

- Succotash

I feel like the wingdings are such a great example of what happens every day around here. One person does something by using X, another person uses Y. If anyone could give me a single rational reason why I have to do Y instead of X, i’d be happy to do Y. That’s great. Y is the way to go. But 95 percent of the time, it’s just … a person prefers X or X looks “better” to them.
I just sometimes take a step back and have to laugh at all the wasted time and energy around here.

- Sassafras

that is the way things work around here. there’s a fine line between being fanatical about it and having realistic expectations of people. for instance, i very frequently have to look through the code that other people are writing, in an effort to use the generalized stuff. and lots of the code around here REALLY sucks, in my opinion. but, if i wanted to make it all “perfect”, i’d be spending all of my time correcting other people’s code “mistakes”, when in reality their way works too. maybe not as efficiently, maybe not as easy to read, but it works. so most of the time i just help them get through the crap they really broke, so that they don’t blame my stuff for not working.
it’s just not worth it, the wingdings thing.
unless, of course, the people freaking out about stupid shit have nothing better to do with their time (Weiner One and Weiner Two are famous for doing that).

- Succotash

I’m all for improving code where there is clear improvement to be made or ACTUAL efficiency to be improved, but I’m not interested in wasting time fussing about purely stylistic issues with code that come down to someone’s judgement call about which code is “better”.

- Sassafras

Tight Pants hates when “if” statements aren’t capitalized. he’ll go through an entire script and change every lower case “i” to an upper case “I”. it’s psychotic.

- Succotash

that’s just dumb and a waste of everyone’s time.
oh yeah, capitalization. WTH? who fucking cares? Like, I have my capitalization thing I do, and it’s consistent. But why should I unilaterally get to decide how other people capitalize their code? Why is my way better? And who cares?

- Sassafras

exactly. if only people could see my thought bubbles.
and yours, for that matter. our cynical comments about how retarded everything is.

- Succotash

haha … like I know that I have lots of room for change, evolution, improvment, etc. as far as coding goes. But capitalization or wingdings or shit like that … that is not evolution. It’s just a waste of time.
but then I feel like if I don’t have my own psychotic, fussy, anal, coding standards or follow someone else’s anal standards, I must be the crazy one. There must be something wrong with me for wanting to know WHY people do the things they do.

- Sassafras

oh, no. see, that kind of thought will take you down the lemming path. it will lead you to being a nutjob, like the rest, and not using reasoning and logic in your daily work life. there IS something wrong with freaking out about stupid crap that happens in the big gray box. there is.
LIFE is TOO SHORT to give a shit about wingdings.

- Succotash

haha … oh, don’t worry … that will NEVER happen. I just get infuriated.

- Sassafras

me too. all the time. whenever i see a shut door.
you know what bugs me the most about the closed doors? i know i’m dwelling. i’m trying not to. but what REALLY bugs me is that this kind of thing happens – a big group of people start doing something weird constantly, and it turns out that they had some kind of secret meeting about it or whatever and now they do this – but nobody else knows about it. and i can’t stand those secrets, especially given the fact that most of the turds in offices haven’t worked here much longer than i have, i don’t have much respect for them or what they do, and in general i think they’re a bunch of weiners! not even in general, they are a big lot of turdwads. and their stupid secrets infuriate me even more than if, say, the entire middle row there started putting their shoes outside their cube doors.
because then it would be like, “heh, you guys are weird.” but the office door thing is most certainly a “this is what we’ll do from now on, but there’s no need for anyone to know why”.

- Succotash

and I think that’s exactly why it bothers you. I see why its ridiculous, but it doesn’t bother me. Because to me, they have always been “higher up” on the (imaginary) hierarchy. But for you, well, you and they are all on the same level, so when they try to set up some sort of distinction between us v. them, you KNOW its a bunch of shit, and it must just seem like a slap on the face. Like them trying to seem better or more important. I bet they did have a “secret” meeting about it. But why? Like … let’s say they all did decide to do it or there is some reason they “have to”, or someone told them to. Whatever. It’s NOT secret material. It’s just meaningless and small and stupid. The very fact that they hold it aside as some kind of secret is really the offensive part. Like “we have special things we do because we’re different” or whatever.

- Sassafras

well yeah! that is why it bugs me! and it bugs me that people like SoulGlo and Turd and Weinerriffic know the reason, too, because they either are fucking an office person, or they’re related to an office person, and so the separation between “us” and “them” extends to within the cubes, so we can’t even have a unified “US”.
meh. it’s just something to waste my brain space on. it’s kinda fun to waste brain space on it though, for me at least, because sometimes i come up with witty shit to put on my blog and it makes me feel all warm and squishy inside. like i’m “getting even” or something, with my silly words that are read by all of like… 5 people.

- Succotash

ugh … you know, I don’t even know who is related to who or who is fucking who in this office. Well, maybe I do, but I try not to think about it. Like ever.

- Sassafras

i’m just causing rumors, mostly, but SoulGlo is related to Gumpy (brother and sister). and Evil Wench and Weinerriffic have a strange intimate relationship that with her evilness and his lack of morality could only result in naked time between the two of them. or maybe they’re just “really good friends”. whatever it is, it’s not normal.

- Succotash

gross

- Sassafras

anyway. hey! thanks for letting me vent for a while. i’m feeling spunky today!
feisty!

- Succotash

maybe she’s preggers with Weinerriffic’s baby

- Sassafras

eew!

- Succotash

<shudder>
can you imagine what that baby would look like….? dear lord

- Sassafras

we should write a show about our office.

- Succotash

except nobody would want to watch it because it would be annoying and depressing

- Sassafras

well, we’d have to embellish a little
a lot.
but, we could base it on the characters here. and we could exaggerate things, like there could be a cube FULL TO THE CEILING with boxes, and we could film funny clips of people trying to pack another box into that cube.
we’d have to start recording Evil Wench’s laugh, so we could have a lot of track time of all of the different varying annoying levels of it. i don’t think even an actor could get that thing down.

- Succotash

we wouldn’t have to … haha … I was just going to mention her laugh
we wouldn’t have to exaggerate it, though.
it’s already as exaggerated as a laugh could be

- Sassafras

oh, no. just paste it into the show once in a while, kinda randomly (as it seems her laugh just randomly invades my ear space).
dude. this show already rocks.

- Succotash

let’s script it.